The 7-minute workout at ANY time of the day.

Not enough time to exercise in your day? No place to exercise? I call "foul" on that concept. Here's what I just did:

It's raining today so I didn't feel like bundling up in the cold downpour to do my daily 30-min walk. (Most often in the year I train 2x/day: a brisk, hilly walk and some other training, like weights, core training, tango dancing, Exuberant Animal games, bike outdoors or indoors, etc). However, I needed to exercise despite the outdoor weather.

I refuse to even listen to my own excuses, so instead of creating a rationale why I can't get my exercise, I decided to solve the problem how I CAN do my exercise.

So I put on my iPod (I listen to radio podcasts) and I walked up and down my stairs. Muscles and physiology trained:

• quadriceps (front of thighs)
• hamstrings (back of thighs)
• hip flexors
• glutes (big muscles of my butt)
• hips (small muscles of my butt)
• calves
• ankle muscles
• feet (I was in socks)
• cardiovascular (heart, blood systems, and lungs)

I did 8 minutes. Only 8 minutes and I was breathing hard, muscles pumping. That's only a quick break in my otherwise busy (multi-project) day.

What's REALLY good is that I can do another 8 minutes again... and then again... and again today - all at times that I'd be needing to get away from the computer anyway*.

What's better, is that my cat really wanted to play - so for 5 minutes I held a 12-lb cat while doing the stairs. He purred, I climbed.

HOW YOU CAN DO IT TOO:

1. If you are at work, climb the stairwell for 8-10 minutes on a break, a few times a day. You won't really get sweaty but you will make a dent in your training for the day. 3 times and you'd done 30 minutes - plus, you are at work so it won't look like you are slacking off.
2. If you are at home, do this at home at any time. I recommend NOT doing it before bedtime, because it can jazz you.
3. If you have small kids (or a baby), this is a way to hold the baby and get some exercise... or put a toddler near the staors and play with it as you walk up and down. Trust me, if it kept a cat happy (notorious for losing interest), it will keep a baby happy.

You will find that your muscles will respond as well as your psyche will respond. Stair climbing will get easier and the little 'lift' will also keep you from snacking in the day as a pick-me-up.

How did this work for you?

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* Additional ways of making stair-climbing more exercise-oriented:

• go fast up and down - very cardio
• go by 2's at a time
• go up or down in a very w-i-d-e stance
• go up or down in a very narrow stance
• hold something in your hands or arms (cat, baby, books, weights, etc)
• do it with radio, music, friend or podcast: make the time go by quickly
• do deep knee bends when going up

Of talking and silence

It's November, and it surprises me. I haven't been writing much because I've been "doing" - in fact, for the almost 5 weeks I was 'doing' it in Shanghai, China. September was a blur of getting ready for (and thinking about) China, October was a blur of being in China. It's November. And I have so much to say about what I've encountered.

Except that I don't want to talk about my experiences. No, it's not that I want to be silent - that I don't want anyone to know what adventures I had; quite the opposite. Everyone should hear what 4 weeks in China was like, working and exploring. The main point remains that I've spent what feels like lifetimes of people 'just talking'. Not always communicating and not always solving. Just talking. Sometimes in ego, sometimes in frustration, sometimes in boredom. People in days, weeks, months of talking about themselves.

When one is living life -- truly living -- one's speaking changes. Conversation moves away from small-talk and ego. Instead of asking "How are you?" the question becomes "How are you?" People who are 'living' often may talk less and listen more. Or they may take action instead of discussing when to take action. They've encountered adventures and circumstances which need little embellishment; they breathe the activities and don't need to exhale in idle chatter about themselves.

Instead, they watch, barely speaking, and wait --for what?-- kinship, maybe. A sign that someone else has breathed adventures also.

Photo taken by Lauren Muney, Century Park, Pudong, Shanghai, China, Oct 2007. What an interesting trio...and how happy they were to be photographed.

'Feel' to make quality decisions

As any active reader of this blog knows, I am fascinated with understanding how the brain, mind, personality, and our 'selves' work.

This fascination began, I believe, when I was a freshman in college; a required class was "The History of Ideas", which explained that history is not made from 'fact', it's made from people who interpret facts and therefore do some type of action due to this interpretation. (Example: WWI was not simply about a monarch being killed by a bullet. It's about how his people interpreted the killing, and why they wanted to fight back). Different interpretations may bring about different actions which bring different results.

In a nutshell, this means that life is subjective... if you understand this, you are halfway to peace. This was a revelation to me, and I think I became a closet anthropologist on the spot.

Of course, I can make so many different connections to spiritual life, how our pasts affect us (our "baggage", some might say), how mainstream education affects us, and also peer pressure. But I'll leave this to a different story.

Right now, I'm more interested in a story from the Boston Globe about how having emotions affects how we make decisions. It seems that if people have altered emotions from injury or brain chemistry, they often make risky decisions:

"In 2004, Harvard psychologist Joshua Greene used brain imaging to demonstrate that our emotions play an essential role in ordinary moral decision-making. Whenever we contemplate hurting someone else, our brain automatically generates a negative emotion. This visceral signal discourages violence. Greene's data builds on evidence suggesting that psychopaths suffer from a severe emotional disorder -- that they can't think properly because they can't feel properly. "This lack of emotion is what causes the dangerous behavior," said James Blair, a cognitive psychologist at the National Institute of Mental Health."

This is fascinating because of one important reason: emotions are our feedback loop. Buddhism and other compassionate spiritual traditions use compassion to "put yourself in someone else's shoes" to understand even a modicum of what the other person is feeling.

How does this relate to "The History of Ideas"? History is made of actions, which is made from decisions - which were based on ideas. Ideas are inspired by feelings - or even lack of feelings. I daresay that the world most renown mass-murderers (Pol Pot, Hitler, etc) may have had 'ideas' about why they created mass genocide - but before their ideas, they certainly had a lack of compassionate emotions which would allow them to feel the pain of death for millions of people.

The next time you have a thought about an action - ask your feelings what they are telling you. They may be telling you to make a new, better thought.

"Nutritionists on speed dial"

I didn't create this article title, and it's not exactly accurate: the actual description is of clients who take cell-phone photographs of their meals and send it to their nutritionists for comment.

Here is the description of the service, available in Canada and Japan, from an innovation website called Springwise:

"Most dieticians agree that food awareness and healthy eating habits beat a fad diet any day. The problem is that most people don't have the discipline, time or interest to continuously track what they're eating and how many calories each meal or snack adds to their daily intake. A practical solution has been launched in Osaka, where a Tokyo medical equipment maker is working with public health officials to help consumers keep tabs on what they're digesting. How it works? Before lifting their chopsticks, users take a picture of their meal with their cellphone's camera. They send the picture to the system, and nutritionists analyse the meal and its nutritional value, following up with advice on necessary adjustments. Feedback follows within three days. Users can also get more information online, and upload photos from digital cameras. The system is being trialled with 100 cardiac, diabetes and obesity patients, and is hoped to rein in growing health problems caused by growing waistlines in Japan, especially of men in their 20s and 30s.

A similar commercial service has been available in Canada and the US for a while. Canadian MyFoodPhone also gets users to send in pictures of what they're eating, creating a running nutrition diary. Once a week, a nutritionist advises the client on how they’re doing and what they need to improve. "

What do I think, as someone who talks weekly and daily to clients about their food, exercise, time management, stressors, and other lifestyle issues? It's an interesting idea, to have actual 'proof' of what a client eats. (I myself have taken photos of my own interesting meals).

Here's a deeper thought:

The cell-phone-meal-photo would only work if the client truly listened to the nutritionist's advice about each meal. Only then would the analysis be a tool to wean the client from ongoing need for analysis, to soon be able to make quality nutrition decisions for him/herself - for the rest of his/her life.

This is what I love about being a coach. Every day I think about helping others create their lives anew, and hoping everyday that soon they will not need me anymore. I tell my beginning clients: "My goal is to get rid of you." Most of my past clients don't realize that I celebrate when they leave me, only because I know that they can live their own lives without help.

Personalized medications, not that there's anything wrong with that

At the risk of sounding like a drug-pusher, I agree that some medications are needed for depressed people. Depression (and other mood disorders) is often a brain-biochemical issue, and in my personal observations of clients and others, this bio-chem sometimes needs a little boost. Not 'happy pills', not 'drugged-out living', but balancing of the chemicals which are lacking.

(At the risk of also supporting an over-prescribed, over-anxious population, I also agree that many people taking medications actually need to learn how to use their minds better; some people who are often depressed may be under-functioning in healthy "let's take a step back from this situation" behaviors.)

In the meantime before everyone gets into their lifelong mindfulness, news is coming from the medical research world that soon, people suffering from depression might soon be prescribed the perfect medication for their own needs. Until now, depression-sufferers often had to go through weeks of testing to find the medication they needed, often feeling ill from an incorrect medication, or not having any mood-lifting at all.

The new news reported by the New York Times discusses the new direction of medications: genetic testing, which matches a patient's genetic profile to steer him or her to the right class of medications, which will remove weeks, months, and years of emotional anguish while improper meds are taken:

"... it will soon be possible for a psychiatrist to biologically personalize treatments. With a simple blood test, the doctor will be able to characterize a patient’s unique genetic profile, determining what biological type of depression the patient has and which antidepressant is likely to work best.

Scientists have identified genetic variations that affect specific neurotransmitter functions, which could explain why some patients respond to some drugs but not to others. For example, some depressed patients who have abnormally low levels of serotonin respond to S.S.R.I.’s, which relieve depression, in part, by flooding the brain with serotonin. Other depressed patients may have an abnormality in other neurotransmitters that regulate mood, like norepinephrine or dopamine, and may not respond to S.S.R.I.’s."

In addition, when genetic testing becomes the wave of prescribing, then no longer will advertising be needed to encourage one medication over another (the test will determine need) and drug reps will no longer have commercial sway over doctors.

In other words, medicine won't be:

--a guessing game
--a popularity contest
--a panacea snake oil cure-all

...it will be medicine.

Mindfulness: in the classroom and out

The New York Times has an article about mindfulness programs in mainstream classrooms of public schools:

As summer looms, students at dozens of schools across the country are trying hard to be in the present moment. This is what is known as mindfulness training, in which stress-reducing techniques drawn from Buddhist meditation are wedged between reading and spelling tests.

Mindfulness, while common in hospitals, corporations, professional sports and even prisons, is relatively new in the education of squirming children. [...]

The techniques, among them focused breathing and concentrating on a single object, are loosely adapted from the work of Jon Kabat-Zinn, the molecular biologist who pioneered the secular use of mindfulness at the University of Massachusetts in 1979 to help medical patients cope with chronic pain, anxiety and depression. Susan Kaiser Greenland, the founder of the InnerKids Foundation, which trains schoolchildren and teachers in the Los Angeles area, calls mindfulness “the new ABC’s — learning and leading a balanced life.”

...“Parents and teachers tell kids 100 times a day to pay attention,” said Philippe R. Goldin, a researcher. “But we never teach them how.”

...“If we can help children slow down and think,” [Principal] Dr. Haick said, “they have the answers within themselves.”

...Tyran Williams defined mindfulness as “not hitting someone in the mouth.”

“He doesn’t know what to do with his energy,” his mother, Towana Thomas, said at a session for parents. “But one day after school he told me, ‘I’m taking a moment.’ If it works in a child’s mind — with so much going on — there must be something to it.”

Participants of my coaching programs and even my other projects have experienced mindfulness techniques for themselves -- or commented how the techniques work for me.

Mindfulness is simply the state of "being aware". It's not magic. It simply allows a person to stop living in his or her habit reactions. "Habit reactions" is what prompts a child to 'hit someone in the mouth' (as the child in the article mentions) - or makes us indulge in addictive and sometimes self-hurtful behaviors.

Mindfulness also allows us to clearly see repetitive problems in our lives. To stop and feel our problems allows us to recognize them as problems; intsead of responding in a way we've always responded (habit reactions), we can see the actions as they unfold. Mindfulness even allows us to step back from ourselves like observers - we give ourselves 'space' to watch ourselves, and possibly make a new (and better) choice for our actions.

There is a freedom in mindfulness: our emotions or habits don't have to lead us anymore. We are free to make a new choice or to even choose a new emotional response. In this world of people killing others simply for supposed ego-infractions, a little mindfulness taught in the classrooms may go a long way to starting a new society of free-thinkers and calm lives.

I agree with the schools - most parents and teachers don't teach children how to 'be aware'. Perhaps mindfulness-education will have its detractors, but every great innovation had its detractors. We'd still be 'watching' the sun circle the Earth if someone didn't innovate a better idea.

"The Tudors" on Showtime: tactile living

I recently added Showtime to my basic cable for one reason: "The Tudors" miniseries. It's handsome, gripping, intrigue-ful, well-acted, well-funded, and multilayered. I'm surprised that I can watch scenes over again (digital cable allows this through "OnDemand") and see new details.

Recently I've been exploring 'the senses' - what gives our senses life, and what is 'living'? Granted, this is television -- but I've been struck with how deeply the characters, scenes, and subjects are vibrantly textured. Even the 16th century church music composer, musician and singer Thomas Tullis is portrayed as a frazzle-haired urchin whose talents charm the court. (Granted, there are some historical licenses taken with the show, but it's TV, not historical interpretation)

Here is a 'music video' promo for the series. I loved the scenes and the music of Evanescence. Enjoy. Think about tactile living: living in all your senses.

Thanks to Showtime for providing this little graphic.

Get out and play

This past week I had the pleasure of assisting Frank Forencich of Seattle, WA, of Go Animal and Exuberant Animal, in his conference booth at the American Association of Health, Physical Education and Dance.

So the theme of my week was "play as health", mostly because of one his books is called "Play As If Your Life Depends On It", and features the concepts of we people, as human animals, need play to exercise our minds and our bodies - it's what our 'human animal' was made to do: be exuberant, go out, have fun, keep stress at a minumum (or release stress when it comes up), eat quality food so our bodies work well. Additionally, as Frank's keynote speech discussed, that our forefathers died early in life from infectious diseases; we are the first few generations dying out from sedentary living and sugary food. Hmm....that's quite interesting. Additionally, Frank also discussed that stress actually retards brain usage -- but play creates neurogenesis (ie: new brain cells). He's not the only one saying this, as I have a whole browser bookmark folder with these research findings as well.

In short:

Play and do challenging things: brain work good.
Too much stress, too much control, and no activity: brain break.

So I have spent this week thinking about all the ways we can play, exercise, have fun, seek interesting food, find challenging things to see, do, and imagine. On that note, I did some Internet research for my friend Iron Wil, a triathlete who teaches in an alternative school... I was thinking about what she said about the children:

"On some days I have ideas - I want to grab [the students] up by their eyebrow piercings and toss them outside in the snow, in the rain, in the wind at 4:00 the morning, and make them run until they throw up because this will show them what their breaking point really is, and how most days they're nowhere near it. I want to put them in the yard and have them pull weeds under the sun until they have no choice but to give in and listen to the world without the noxious noise that hemorrhages from their headphones at train wreck decibels..."

This really struck me about her students: they live in a world that they feel they don't fit in, so they act out in many ways - and the parents, teachers, and community are affected by these students' actions. I started thinking about these kids, and what they might be feeling, what their current life conditions might be, and how may others find an emotional and physical release which calm them down: not calm down in the medicated sense, but calmed down in the joyful sense: what are these kids looking for? What is the common demoninator for them, and how can this pressure valve be released?

...Then I remembered that Frank Forencich said there was an alternative school in Seattle where there is 0% act-up rate; I simply started reading, hoping there was something interesting to send to Iron Wil. I found that there are really interesting people who are not doing mainstream "one size fits none" activities for kids... and, on that alternative school website, I found that there was this very interesting sport being taught to the kids.

Here is the sport: It's called "Parkour"; the participants are called "traceurs". I started researching it and realized how well it fit into the whole idea of play and exploration and self challenge, what Iron Wil was looking for her own students. I did some more research, and found this video of this young man on a parkour website. Serendipidously, he happens to be a friend of Frank Forencich's. Go figure: I guess animals stick together.

This is Tyson Cecka (click on the thumbnail for video, below) - a student at the University of Washington.

Here's a quote about Parkour, which seems to sum up the need that the 'alternative' kids in Iron Wil's school need:

"Sensations, adrenaline and giddiness. Power, fluidity and control... Parkour responds to a deep-seated need of humans: to move. It's an art that demands the true spirit of a warrior, and offers pure action to its practitioners. Parkour makes it possible to develop physical fitness and coordination while developing willpower, determination, motivation, strength, endurance, agility and courage: essential qualities in life! It educates and informs young people who are eager for new experiences...Parkour is much more than a sport. It is a way of life, the way to 'find yourself', even; to learn how to know and control one's own body. One becomes stronger, and learns how to surmount mental obstacles just as much as physical ones..."

Curious? This video shows the sport of Parkour:



Isn't this what we all hope for in our lives? Maybe we all don't want to do what's exactly in this video, but what if we find our own way of being active, excited, experimental, joyful of living...?

When thinking about Iron Wil's students, living in frustration to a world they don't feel a part of, maybe they need a sense of play, of control, of self-esteem; maybe a type of primal scream but with their bodies. After all, what is the eyebrow ring other than a visual primal scream?

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Postscript:

From a purely biomechanical point of view, some moves this video are pretty incredible. Although Parkour seems to be running-related --- as in "I'll run until I reach an obstacle and then get around it" --- Tyson has climbing experience. He can go from huge leaps on a flat run to a high jump with a climb. These pullups at various heights not only give him a sense physical success, but the brain gains a biochemical 'rush' from emotionally achieving a challenging feat, especially a multi-muscular challenging feat.

If you really want to know what I think (as a biomechanicist), watch this parkour sense of balance as he leaps from a wall onto a cement pylon: the change in forces between a forward leap and then sticking on the small perch. Additionally, Tyson seems to have an interestingly long leap - both single-footed and both feet. I've watched other Parkour videos, and they don't seem to do as much precision leaping - just height or distance, but not 'distance to small surfaces'. Also, he can pull himself to high heights - most average climbers might not do some of these moves, not do then after running at the vertical he is climbing.

I think I'm just jealous that I can't do those things ;)

Letting go... a 'running' commentary.

Today the journey took another turn. I let go of the story.

This seems to be a theme: "let go". I spent so much time wondering what it meant when everyone said "let go". I think I understand now. More on this later; first, a little background to set the stage.

Today I had a coaching lesson in ChiRunning. It is a running style which has obtained attention in the athletic world and on the media (it was featured on NPR) because it's supposed to be easier on the joints; running is notoriously hard on muscles and joints. The most interesting aspect is that its creator based ChiRunning on principles of Tai Chi, a martial art which focuses on awareness principles.

I have become interested in running since early 2006. Most of the reasons were based on my proximity to someone special to me training in running, but I admit that being near trail runners was a surprisingly joyful and vibrant experience. I talked, listened and participated in their excited natures, their happiness even in difficult weather conditions, and the flushed laughing qualities of the adventure they were carving for themselves. Reading books and being in that world was a new experience for me, beyong my own past history as a sprinter. Outdoor running might be something which would bring me closer to my own nature: exploring life at life's horizon.

My issue: my body.
"Fit" as I looked, I had pain upon running more than 10 minutes. In fact, I had pain walking more than 45 minutes. The pain was real, and it affected me from the hips to knees to my feet: 30 years of pain. Not only did I run wrong, but my body issues gave me a perfect excuse not to run. My mind instantly created "stories" about my pain and pathologies for a long time. Mostly I didn't do what caused me pain; otherwise, I learned the fancy names of the issues and I was happy with myself that I had the answers all sewn up. Once again, I had the "stories" memorized, and they fit the answers I was prepared to give myself.

Two things major changed my "story" about my body:

1) I read an article in Men's Health whereupon a running coach explain that people can be taught out of their bad running form so they can run well... and

2) I started with Buddhism classes -- and other spiritual teachings.

Running and Buddhism: who'd have thought they combined... well, maybe the inventor of ChiRunning was onto something there also.

How does Buddhism play into the story? That's exactly the point: Buddhism teaches one NOT to play into "the story". I've been attending classes from the Insight Meditation Community of Washington. To make a long story short, this style of Buddhism encourages 'being aware' and 'being present in the moment'. The teaching center around life being a journey, and the journey may not always be "happy" every moment, but it's still a vibrant, visceral, 'alive' path. Most people who think of Buddhism may also think of constant meditation by monks. While meditation is encouraged, it's not a demand; it doesn't have to be hours or days - and certainly meditation can be for regular people, not just monks. Meditation is simply the vehicle to "be in the present moment": to touch our feelings and/or learn how to not take things so seriously.

It is these teachings which describe one important theme: our thoughts are just thoughts, they aren't real. If they aren't 'real', then we can create our own lives simply by changing our thoughts about a situation. Even more deeply, we don't have to have concrete 'thoughts' about anything: we can instead cultivate an open mind. The Zen [Buddhist] tradition calls this "beginner's mind": the state of accepting and being curious, instead of closed-minded to any thought but our own.

In a nutshell, Buddhism encourages us to "drop the story" and to face life right now.

Did I lose the ChiRunning in this blog? No, it's still here...

So while having my value that I wanted to pursue running, I continued investigating my options: having a beginner's mind about running. I started learning about running methods. I studied up on my own physiology, and did what could to help my physiological problems. (Translated: I sought orthotics for my shoes to help my legs and feet). In short, I dropped "my story" about running and tried to make solutions. One of those solutions was investigating ChiRunning. I bought the book. I also decided to invest some Christmas money into myself - a found someone local who teaches ChiRunning. I'm a hands-on person, and I like the interactivity of an in-person session; a book can answer most questions, but the 3-D instructor can breathe life into a 2-D concept.

I couldn't wait. I felt like something was going to break wide open.

Today I met with ChiRunning coach Bryan Hantman from Catonsville, MD: a yoga and spinning instructor, he also runs and does triathlons. It was very comforting to know that his experience in both Eastern and Western movements could be combined so well: clearly, he understood the body and its abilities.

I had come to my lesson well-prepared: I read the ChiRunning book and had already been practicing a few [stationary] exercises. I was familiar with the concepts and goals, but hadn't yet seen anyone run in this style. Bryan started the session by working with my understanding of ChiRunning and listening to my body issues. Then immediately he said, "I think you have been living with your muscles pulling your bones out of alignment. Sure, you may have structural problems, but they can be worked WITH, not feared AGAINST. If you do the exercises ChiRunning assigns, maybe you won't have running or walking pain any more. But the exercises will feel strange for a while, as your muscles learn how to finally work well. You'll be practicing these exercises when you walk, when you stand, and when you run. You will create a new muscular structure: one that uses your bones and your muscles correctly..."

Immediately I saw something interesting in his discussion: I had been holding onto "the story" of what my body could do. I had felt pain, even watched my poor gait, and thought that I was destined to live this way. I walked like a sumo wrestler and my hips were tight: I was prepared to live this way, accepting the pain and living in compassion with my physiological plight.

In one session, my new running coach told me gave me permission to let go of my story, and to try a new way.

I admit, this isn't easy. My entire body has been working poorly for possibly 30 years (I'm 43); never learning how to run correctly even in high school track, I simply made up my own muscle use. They call this 'the natural stride': a coach interviewed in the Men's Health article who explained that no one has to suffer with their own natural stride. Old dogs CAN learn new tricks. The dog simply has to let go of the old trick to accept the new trick.

Without going into the physiological minutia, I'll just say that I have to retrain every muscle south of my ribs: my lower abs, entire hips, adductors (inside thighs), knees, lower legs, ankles, and feet. My legs have been trying to hold onto their identity for 43 years; the identity of a certain walk, run, and stand. My legs, however, have been WRONG.

And I am entirely grateful to learn how wrong I have been... because I get to "let go" of my legs' "story" and create a new journey -- a journey which may include running outdoors, maybe on a fun trail with fun people doing a wild vibrant adventure.

The running is just one method; the lesson with Bryan was simply a metaphor, ChiRunning was simply one path. The most important aspect was that I've learned that although my thoughts were 'true' (yes, I did have real pain in my legs), I didn't have to stay that way. I could keep seeking a new solution, a solution with followed my values.

I'm excited to be so wrong.

Buddhism --which is a path, not really a 'religion'-- simply describes that we need to wake up: to be aware, to be 'in the present moment', and that living begins when we shake off the fog. ("Buddha" actually means "awake") We can stop telling ourselves stories. There don't have to stay with myths, stories, habits, or 'rules'. Sure, the journey may be a little rocky (for example, I have to train my entire lower body) but the outcome eventually will be facing living. We can make a new story - a story which may be more truthful - or even that we can yet again shake off one day. We can let go. We can start again. It's possible: life can begin anew, at any moment.

My friend "Iron Wil" (her blogging name, of her mythical superhero Wilhemina) says she is learning 'not to think' anymore. Perhaps 'thinking' is part of telling our own stories over and over. We tell ourselves how we are bad --- or we tell ourselves how others are bad. We find living in a story is easier than letting it go, and walking (running?) into the freefall of 'right now'. We often stop living in the present because the old stories are comfortingly familiar: even the difficult ones.

...but most often, we outgrow our old stories. The old stories were the balm that helped explain so many things: the old stories kept us from doing the really hard work of retraining our muscles -- or getting frightening close to our loved ones. The old stories kept us in the box, and the box was comforting.

The hard part is, that the box doesn't fit after a while. Maybe it never fit, maybe it was only a momentary fit. We just had the habit of fitting into the box: we fit ourselves into those old stories.

But we can live more vibrantly:
We can live in the present and dig deeper: to erase the story and see if we can retrain our lives, like I have to retrain my muscles from almost 43 years of ineffective use.

It's time to wake up our bodies, our spirits and our lives --- we can 'let go' at any minute. We simply have to know that 'letting go' is possible... and we just might find a new life when we do. Everything in our lives can "wake up". We don't ever have to be the same in any situation, with any person, in any activity.

Every day -- every minute --can be New Year's Day: new beginnings. We just have to give ourselves permission to drop the story. We can learn to let go.

Meanwhile, I'll be around --learning how to walk (and run) again. I am thrilled.

You mean it's from STRESS? Say it isn't so.

A report in Seed magazine reports on an article in Nature magazine (still with me?) that scientists have been caught falsifying scientific study results due to stress from pressure:

"The Minnesota-based team also conducted a nationwide survey of 3,247 research scientists to determine if there were systemic causes for these misbehaviors. The results, published in the June 2005 issue of Nature, showed that scientists who feel unjustly treated at work are more likely to commit normal misbehaviors.

"Scientists feel that they are under pressure," de Vries said. "When we asked them to talk about it on the survey, what we found is that if you feel like you're being treated unfairly, you're more likely to engage in these misbehaviors." "

So let me see... scientists who feel uncomfortable might engage in 'misbehaviors'.

... Are scientists the only ones who might engage in 'misbehaviors' due to pressure? Doesn't that mean that MANY people who feel under pressure (undue or otherwise) might misbehave? And furthermore, the fact that scientists get caught at falsifying their experiments are simply under more public scrutiny than, say, a 'regular" person doing the exact same [mis] behaviors in average jobs or average lives?

The truth is, that we should all be telling truths. Create an environment where telling the truth (and facing the truth) about situations is what causes us to grow more. Those scientists to "misbehaved" (LIED) about their studies could be actually seeking better results by facing the facts of their studies.

Skewing information in response to lies only does one thing: creates more lies. How can we discover a better way of living if we don't honestly face what is happening?

The big question about relationships

I just had a one-sentence conversation with my cat today. It's a metaphor for everything.

He loves to rub against me and purr. He loves sitting in my lap. But there's one other thing: he likes to bite. It's not hard, but it's annoying. I just looked at him earnestly and said,

"Why do you bite someone who loves you?"

Mid-life

At my age (41) I hear the words which I thought I'd never hear "Mid-life". Usually coined with the word "crisis" afterwards, Mid-life seems to be on the tip of my peers' lips. And I'm thinking about why.

Some time ago, I remembered a book my mother had around the house: "Passages", by Gail Sheehy. To be quite frank, the actual title was, "Passages: The predicatable crises in adult life". The book explored how, in each decade of our (American?) lives, we come to certain maturity or wisdom... and each of these seemed to be generally repeatable by other people who may not ever meet us. The interesting part was, Ms. Sheehy was, in a long-winded way, rather dead-on.

After reading about Mid-life in that book and others, I realized that this phenomenon was not necessarily meant to be lived in fast cars and loose liasons. Mid-life wasn't about dumping a spouse or suddenly getting the urge to drive a big rig cross-country. Mid-life is, in a nutshell, a middle-life reassessment.

Okay, it's true: some men may decide that they want some trophy girlfriend instead of the tired wife ... or that he never had a sports car and that old sedan just didn't make him feel "alive". These behaviors aren't 'defining' of the man: they are simply behaviors. In the same way that a wife may get sick of a tv-watching - beer-guzzling man who pays little attention to the family. She decides that she would like a life with full participants... and she decides to start a new life looking for a partner in 'participating'.

Mid-life seems to be (in my humble opinion) just a time when we aren't "waiting" anymore. We finally notice that it's time for action; things we felt were pushed aside may be picked up again. Perhaps they are values... or people ... or hobbies ... or the open road. Mid-life seems to say, "Where am I now, and where can I go from here?"

These Mid-life issues can be anything: career, physique, friendships, physical injuries, relationships, vacations. In a way, Lance Armstrong's decision to end his bicycling career was a Mid-life decision: after 30 years on a bike, says has reassessed his priorities and has decided to 'move on'.

"Passages" also mentions that if someone tries to delay (or ignore) these Mid-life demands, those demands will return - and in more vicious temperament. Someone who feels frustrated with the entropic state of his/her homelife might begin a destructive affair instead of calmly asking his/her partner to help upgrade their lives together. Someone whose dissatisfaction with a job might find himself... well... shooting up a post office.

I discuss Mid-life with great respect; I have had many recent discussions with friends, and another one just wrote me today with his own reassessing thoughts.

I think that Mid-life reassessment is a great idea... and long as it doesn't swirl into a full-fledged tornado.

The Tao of every day

I've been under some stress recently, so it's been a pleasure when I've remembered how much I love reading. I've been reading a book called "The World's Religions" by Huston Smith, a religions scholar. It's fascinating to me to read about the different spiritual, moral, and ethical structures which reside on our earth.

Far be it for me to explain what so many better scholars, teachers, and sages have created, but it's given me some relaxation to read about allowing the universal energies to happen... one of the key words being "allowing"; not forcing, not resisting.

As the Wikipedia (the online public encyclopedia) discusses,

"In the Taoist view, simplicity and patience go hand in hand with compassion. These three qualities are inseparable.

Simplicity is a wonderful description of the style of the Taoist sage. He is not bound by any rules, authority or his own ego. He simply does what is necessary because it is necessary. He is uncomplicated and direct. He is sincere and honest. There are no hidden agendas clouding his mind. His insight is acute and incisive. His actions are pure and direct. They come straight from his true self.

His patience is the patience of someone without agendas and without an ego to obey. He has no ambitions driving him to action. He has the wisdom of someone who understands the whole, and who is not personally involved. He is part of the natural flow of things, and he has the detachment to wait until the time is right.

His compassion is all-encompassing, and includes himself. In fact, compassion springs from one's goodness to one's Self."

"Fast Weight Loss! Make Easy Money! Increase Your Sex Life!"

I participate in a weight-training online forum. Recently a subject came up which heated everyone. I wrote a post which I think is deep enough in my thoughts to share in my blog. I have no idea who reads my blog (except for Missy in WVA - hi Missy!) but if anyone reads it, this is very important to share.

The subject was regarding these programs which promise that you'll lose fat, get more muscular, make all the money of your dreams, increase your mental power , get more sex, better sex, look younger . . . blah blah blah. You've heard it all.

These ads are mostly online and by email, but can also be found in some magazines. They are "testimonial style", crafted with certain words, and sometimes phrases are highlighted in the morass of text which your eye can barely read. The copy (that means, the actual words) are chosen with the most impact in mind. Here's what always gets me: they say that "this information is soooo valuable that it would be worth $500 - but we are giving it to you for the low price of $150, and throwing in these free e-books worth over double that $500..."

That being said, I have participated in presentations where the marketers have decided to use these tactics. I respectfully requested that they consider other tactics, but, since it wasn't my project, they went their own manner. That's perfectly alright. I have never felt, and hopefully will never feel, that these marketing tactics are appropriate.

Ignore the crap and focus on what you feel is integrity-ful. If those letters/programs in your e-mailbox or on your screen are crap, ignore them and laugh :)

If they pique your interest, find out more. You'll discover (one way or another) the real truth: either you will be changed forever, or you would have helped someone get a new boat.

It's that simple.

I laugh my head off about people with "programs". Honestly. You should see the ones I get in my e-mailbox also.

Some people just learn the FORMULAEIC (sp?) (uh: "formula'd") way of MARKETING the product (or program). They use buzz words and particular ways of advertising which get some people buying. A SMART person doesn't get entranced by buzzwords or phrases. But others are. Anything that makes you "buy now", "hurry", "fast, easy", "my life changed, and it was easy" is a scam. Nothing GOOD and WORTHWHILE is easy. (Simple, maybe: not easy)

And there are no "promises": only progress.

It always makes me laugh that many of these "experts" also have a part of their website(s) where they tell others "How to make the money of your dreams in online marketing". Hmmm. How telling.

It's up to each individual how they want to present themselves (and their business), what business they have, and how (or whether) to be full of INTEGRITY about that.

Me? I've been told (by "pros" * ) to scrap my current website, change it to the screaming-headlines "testimonial-style", and offer my knowledge/coaching via "pay for info" products. At the moment, I won't do it. Not a whit. And my wallet is the poorer for it --- but my SPIRIT feels just ducky. I have no boat, my car is 6 years old now (really? Honda makes an awesome car!), and I haven't bought new clothes since I-don't know-when. But I sleep well at night regarding my BUSINESS ETHICS.

I want the buyer to beware. Stop being scammed, if some of those advertisements are scams in marketing language which grabs you emotionally. I want the buyer to learn how to GROW UP and BE WISE : do your research.

I have a personal way of looking at advertisements: sometimes the subtler, the more truthful it is. Less "yelling". They know that what they are selling can stand the test of time. They know you can research it. They know that they don't have 10-seconds to grab your attention or you'll buy elsewhere. They want a quality customer who is not looking for a quick fix -- and will have a disastrous, quick-fix mentality.

It's kind of like the martial art aikido: to get a blackbelt, it takes many years of hard work, self-reflection, inward change, body understanding, sensitivity, ... and the black belt is considered "just proficient" or "just beginning to know". Nothing fast, but it's incredible for those who do it.

Have a thoughtful day.

* PS: the "pros" who tell me to change my website have fancy expensive cars and probably second houses. I don't. But, to me, it's like junk bonds: someone is making money off someone's else's gullibility.
I'm not a Buddhist, but I like the Buddhist thought of "Right Livelihood": "one should earn one's living in a righteous way and that wealth should be gained legally and peacefully". To me, 'righteous, legal and peaceful' means that I give people their hard-earned money's worth.

Saving us from ourselves

I read an article today which fascinated me: "Save Me From Myself".

The article was discussing "akrasia" (coined by the ancient Greek philosphers Socrates and Aristotle), "those attacks of weak will that lead us to satisfy fleeting desires at the expense of our own acknowledged long-term interests."

Interesting: the article focuses not on how to have strong will, but on a growing trend toward creating situations where we are "parented" by an outside entity (government restriction or person) so we are relieved of the burden of parenting ourselves.

Here's a quote from the article:

"Parentalism is in a sense more insidious: It emerges when we begin to suspect that we ourselves are not competent to make our own choices, to yearn for someone to relieve us of the burden of choice."

How many times have we seen this? People who cannot/will-not make healthy choices for themselves and need others to do it for them. Spouses who rely on spouses to 'keep them in line', monitor their food, turn off the TV. Or worse yet, we have a culture which needs laws to keep people from doing things that they shouldn't be doing in the first place.

Another quote:

"... The true parentalist wants to escape not just the burdens of the act of choosing, but the responsibility for making a poor choice. Voluntary market mechanisms for filtering or restraining choice will always, ultimately, have an escape clause: We can fire the personal trainer or tell our friends we've changed our minds about that diet or quitting smoking after all. And, in the final analysis, they allow us only to defer responsibility, not avoid it".

It's an interesting article... read it for yourself.
Article: "Save Me From Myself"

Seek who you are

I am discovering something:

If you want to know "who you are" [deep inside], do something different than what you've been doing. It's very interesting...

What I mean is, we (people) seem to be a cluster of habits and interests. Some habits are good for us. Some habits are bad for us. Nevertheless, they are ingrained inside our preferences and muscles ... and our "interests" are those things which 'turn us on' or make us passionate about living.

In my coaching practice, I advocate awareness. This means that we realize what we are doing and what is around us. When we take a step back from our habits and interests, that is, step back so we are on the precipice of not engaging in those activities, we can really see that we crave those activities. When we are aware of our craving, we can set about the task of understanding our habits or interests.

Example:

I have always done creative projects and crafts. Since I was a child, I had always had glue and bits of fluff, and crayons and all those sorts of things. I thought it was part of growing up, and that all children did these things.

As I grew, I attended art college. Yet, while I attended college, I performed shows; it was natural to me to make all of my costumes and create my own props. Then I would create my own "audition" videos, brochures, and continued making my own performance needs. This was natural to me -- and I was genuinely astounded when other performers did do the same thing, preferring to purchase their needs and hire others (sometimes while whining about these vendors) to do their marketing.

I have created my own websites, designed and sewed my own costumes, even made my own props. I created things like a light-up sequined top-hat, sewed a new umbrella-cover, fabricated a 4-airbrush rig. (evidence of my work can be seen on my website: Snake Oil Productions) But I digress....

Recently, I have been focusing on my coaching career and spent little time in my workshop. My paintings have gone unpainted, I have not created performance-marketing materials, and my costume closet has stayed exactly as I had left it. For about 2 years, I have been coasting on memories and past evidence on what I had created - but had created almost nothing myself, save for painting a couple of walls. My hands remained distinctly and achingly unsullied.

Something had been gnawing at me in the interim of my "hiatus". In the beginning, I thought that I could re-focus my energies elsewhere (my coaching career: this needed no dirty hands or bits of cloth, or hours in a workshop). Then I began to feel a bit empty. My life, however filled with happy moments, had little creativity: not the thrill of designing something, the raw joy of shopping for supplies, not the terror of messing up while mid-work, not the burst of proud "birth" after the project was achieved. I was, in fact, mostly just a consumer.

Something in me started dying. Despite all the love and interesting things in my life, I was dying, trying to become "a new creature" (as biblical scriptures had called it) when there were parts of the "old me" which were still serving my heart, soul, and the world... why did I put all my old projects down? A combination of events, all seeming separate but truly, after all was said and done, set in motion to decipher who I really am.

Several weeks ago I started again on a project which I had put away since my divorce: a new painted tire-cover, this one with the design of Botticelli's Venus.
And yesterday, I embarked on a new project with only a thought in my head and the dream of making a little girl happy: I made a flower head-garland suitable for a faerie-princess.

I feel a sense of "completeness" when I gaze on these works... completeness inside myself, as if I am able to wring out stuff from inside me which needs to be birthed. Maybe it's oddly prophetic that I am painting the Birth of Venus ;)

This long-winded post aside (and I haven't yet embarked on the idea of ingrained habits), I realize that sometimes it is only when missing something can we find out its true value. It is in that "space", (that open space, that hole that the lack of the thing creates) that we can seek its value.

It is NOT "absence making the heart grow fonder".

It is realizing the absence of something which makes our heart be PASSIONATE.

Soooo gone lately

Sorry for people who have been reading this blog and I have gone missing... I've been doing my best Clara Barton for someone very special who has undergone hand surgery. I've actually started this blog several times and had been called away, so if you've missed me, my sincerest apologies.

However, while "nursing", I've discovered many interesting things:

• One CAN do things with one hand...
• ... it's just not whatsoever easy, fast, or by rote
• "Nursing" can encompass any amount of care for someone: getting a drink of water, tying shoes, washing dishes, running errands, doing laundry, fluffing pillows, even scratching a back. Civil War nurses (such as Clara Barton) were not necessarily skilled in any "medicine"; they simply wanted to help the sick and wounded soldiers. "Helping" is almost anything.
• Even if the "patient" doesn't always say thank you, know deep inside that he/she appreciates the care
• Some medical personnel remember the issues that the patient encounters; although these procedures are routine for the staff, they are not routine for the patient. Some procedures and encounters are painful, fatiguing, uncomfortable, confusing, and difficult. the best medical personnel are the ones who approach every patient's experiences through the patient's eyes, not through the been-there-done-that attitude of the tired, workworn self.

My laptop computer seems to be ill as well; the display has gone out and I am only able to use it currently while hooked to an external monitor. I am endeavoring to seek solutions, although a $700 replacement of a new display screen was not exactly part of my budget.

Meanwhile, as I sort out my assisting and computer issues, enjoy the Daily Om:
This article changes every day:

The Daily Om

Laziness

I wrote an article about laziness the other day. It seems to be a theme which keeps coming up: why people don't do what they know is important for them.

I've done this two ways:
thinking about our "free will" vs. our "free won't"
and
laziness

What struck me today is "What can be a cure for laziness?" ... certainly, it's not possible to always say to ourselves, "Don't be lazy!" and that's all it takes to stop it once and for all. The gap is wider than that.

Here's what I started on. It's in a sidebar in my Laziness article, but I'm still chewing on this... it came to me while I was trying to avoid doing my morning dishes. I was about to pass them by ("I won't do them now... I hate doing dishes... I'll just leave them for later...") when I realized that I wouldn't want to do them later, either. So I said to myself, "What would it feel like to do the dishes now?"

Then this part of the article came:

-------------------

Experiment for Laziness:

Here's something to try, which is easy... when you have a task or activity to do and you feel that "laziness" coming on (you know what that feels like: "I don't want to do it!!"), try doing it anyway. Mindfully --that means, with all thought-- do the activity, and think about it. I'm not suggesting that you love it; you aren't supposed to love everything!

Just think about doing that task: think about the fact that you are doing it anyway, despite every cell in your body wants to go somewhere else or be doing something else, maybe even relaxing! Try not to just grumble negatively about how you hate it; just think about the task and your previous thoughts about not doing it.

Quite possibly, your mind will start calming down. You may start feeling like the task isn't too bad --- or you may be proud of yourself for accomplishing it when you would normally put off the task!

Here's the best part... you might even discover that what you've been doing was DREADING the task - when the activity itself wasn't all that bad! That's a case of perception versus reality : we often perceive something to be worse than it really is. Worse yet, the "dreading" may take more time and negative thoughts than the activity itself.

That's "mindfulness": attention on what you are doing, and what you need to do, instead of the perception of it.

Contrasts give us gratitude and appreciation

Today I brought my car into the shop...

I accidentally went to the wrong dealership (same "automotive group" name, wrong auto manufacturer). The one where I first arrived was crowded with cars in the lanes, so my car was boxed-in and I was very confused. When I finally found my way into the service area, it was complete chaos; no one was helping customers, and, after a while, someone finally stabbed the question at me, "Yeah? What do you want?" It was a war zone. It felt like survival in the trenches.

I felt anxious on the outside, continually meditating on the inside, trying to keep my peace.

When I discovered that yes, I was at the wrong dealership (WHEW!), I made my way into the correct one. Honda. Wow, was a wonderful place: quiet location, accomodating, attentive, quick, hospitable (gave me a free rental car for the day!). It was like a cool drink on a hot day to work with them! It was like entering a veritable resort: they (unlike the other dealership?) realized that service and care was actually what that building was there for.

Gratitude washed over me. Appreciation. Joy at discovering this "haven" of service - and not simply for the wealthy, but for all. This dealership -- this business -- realized that happy (non-complaining) customers come from hospitable service!

Even bigger lesson: how much that "hospitality" and customer care --- HUMAN care --- is important. Even the smallest things, perhaps even saying hello, made a difference. Their service wasn't plastic or phony. . . something to remember in all my ventures.

The Internet ...

People who want to see the Internet as sending civilization "to hell in a handbasket" aren't seeing the full capacity of what a global community could be. I'm not saying anything new here, but I'm simply living proof.

Sure, the Internet is fueled by two things: capitalism (most website are just digital 'brochures' for selling something) and sex (thus proving the 'selling something' aspect). Most people do want more money and more pleasure.

However, when I realize that I am truly conversing with someone across the planet in real-time , simply blows my mind. Please don't let yourselves take that for granted... imagine all those pioneers who waited patiently for weeks while the Pony Express brought letters. Or before that, ships carried letters for months - and only if you had enough money and a fancy wax seal to guard against brigands opening your missive.

I remember when I first saw the World Wide Web. It was the "new" incarnation of graphic interfaces, an old browser called Mosaic. (1993?) This was before Netscape or Internet Explorer. I was explained what the WWW was... and it took me a long time to understand what "hypertext" was... and what "linking" was... imagine, trying for the first time to understand that I could be travelling from place to place in the blink of an eye!

I was so excited that I taught myself how to code web pages from scratch. I taught myself how to write HTML. I was the cutting edge... this was long ago when domain names were expensive. I had a website. I was there: part of something which "links" in that Web.

In my own lifetime (I'm 41), I've seen:

• TV come into its own.
• Home computers arose where there was once only mainframes.
• These home computers went from a few people with text-only screens, to almost everyone having one - and in all sizes, weights, colors, and speed.
• Record albums phased out, and CDs became "it".
• I saw VHS tapes come in (we were the first on our block), and now we have DVDs with interactivity.
• When I was young, no one had answering machine... and now, everyone has cell phones which fit in the palm of their hand. My PDA palm is a mini computer, too.

Meet your neighbors. They are right over there... only 5,000 miles away :) . Your grandmother couldn't do that at your age, so why don't you?